The Office_The Invention Act 1

ACT 1


INT. OFFICE – RECEPTION – MORNING

MICHAEL enters the Office triumphantly. He stops by reception to make an announcement


MICHAEL
Hey everyone! 


The Office is unresponsive. Michael glances at the camera.


MICHAEL (CONT’D)
Could I, uh, have your attention please? I have a
very important announcement to make

DWIGHT looks up attentively. Michael settles with only receiving Dwight’s attention.

MICHAEL (CONT’D)
I would like to let you all know that 
I have come up an ingenious idea, aaand, 
it’s going to make me very, very rich.


DWIGHT
Really? What is it?


Michael smiles at the camera



MICHAEL
Oho! Well, you’ll just have to wait and see.
I’m going to get settled down, and then
I’ll be ready to blow you all away.


Michael walks into his office. Dwight watches him intently.

INT. MICHAEL TALKING HEAD – MICHAEL’S OFFICE

MICHAEL is lounging at his desk



MICHAEL
I come up with a lot of ideas. You know, sometimes you’re just sitting at your desk, and BAM! This great, this incredible idea just pops into your head. 


Michael squints thoughtfully


MICHAEL (CONT’D)
You really have to…you have to be in this special state. It’s almost like meditation. Just clear your mind; get rid of everything goin’ on up there



He waves his arms around for emphasis


MICHAEL (CONT’D)
And who knows what you’ll come up with.


He adopts a businesslike tone



MICHAEL (CONT’D)
So, I usually like to set aside part of my
day to do a bit of meditation.  

Shots of Michael sleeping at his desk and playing with his toys. JIM swivels around in his chair and watches Michael playing.


MICHAEL (V.O.)
I get a LOT of thinking done



Cut back to Michael’s talking head in his Office



MICHAEL (CONT’D)
And um, yesterday, I came up with an idea for modified chopsticks.

He holds up a piece of paper with some drawings.



MICHAEL (CONT’D)
It’s like if forks and chopsticks...you know...



He can’t help but smile at this, then regains composure.

MICHAEL (CONT’D)
I think it’s gonna be huge, really. It’ll
totally revolutionize the way people eat.
So, I need to come up with a sales pitch.
Who’s my target audience? Asian people,
of course. Now, unfortunately for me,
there are no Asian people in this office.
But, I have got a few other minorities I can work with…so…they’ll have to do for now.



INT. OFFICE - BREAK ROOM – MORNING

MICHAEL is leaning against the counter in the break room. STANLEY enters. Michael looks eagerly at the camera, and then turns to Stanley.

MICHAEL
Aha! Stanley! Don’t you love using chopsticks?

Stanley roots around in the fridge for a snack.

STANLEY
No

Michael is taken aback, but then tries a different route.

MICHAEL
Yeah, me neither! They’re so hard to use!
Don’t you wish they were more like forks?

Michael looks expectantly at Stanley. Stanley grabs a drink and then heads out of the break-room without responding. Michael stares straight ahead, trying to ignore the camera. He sucks in a breath.



MICHAEL: 
That was a good lesson right there. Success does not come easily. Trials and triblarations. Do you think that as soon as Edison discovered electricity, people were lining up in the streets to get it? No. They probably made fun of him. But now, he’s one of the most beloved inventors of all time. 
(beat)
What does this say to me? It says, “Keep trying”.



He heads out of the break room and over to Ryan, who is sitting at his desk.



Cut to – Jim and Pam at reception. Jim glances over his shoulder at Michael talking animatedly to a disinterested Ryan.


PAM: 
So what do you think his idea is? 



Jim squints and listens to Michael talking



JIM: 
Well, I think he just said something about Jackie Chan, so you know it has to be good. 



Pam laughs appreciatively



JIM (slightly serious): 
Hey…if he tells you about it, whatever it is, just…try to act impressed. I mean, I know no one else will, and he seems pretty excited about it, so…

PAM (surprised by Jim’s empathy): 
Oh, ok

Jim smiles, taps distractedly on her desk, and walks off



Pam talking head



PAM: 
I’m not really getting my hopes up for whatever Michael did, and not just because it’s Michael. Last year, he came up with reusable tissues…it took a lot of work to convince him that that’s what handkerchiefs are for. And I think the first year I was here, he had…tic tac toe toilet paper, for a way to pass the time on the toilet. (She looks down uncomfortably). I guess he forgot that you need two people to play tic tac toe.

Michael walks briskly and excitedly up to reception. Jim is not at his desk, but Dwight is in the background making copies.



MICHAEL: 
Pam! Do you like using chopsticks? 



PAM (looks confused): 
Wha- (remembers what Jim said to her, and smiles) Oh, yeah! Yeah, I do.



Michael looks taken aback but delighted by her enthusiasm. He begins to spit out dialogue that seems well rehearsed. 



MICHAEL: 
But aren’t they hard to eat with?



PAM (engaged): 
Yeah

MICHAEL: 
Well, that’s why I came up with these modified chopsticks. They’re like forks and chopsticks all rolled into one!



Dwight looks up from the copier, listening to Michael



PAM: 
Wow! That’s a great idea.



MICHAEL (confused by her reaction): 
Really? I um, I even made some diagrams (hands her a paper with drawings on it. She pretends to drink them in)



PAM: 
Ugh, I wish I could come up with stuff like this.

Michael looks at her with utmost confusion. Dwight materializes next to him.



DWIGHT: 
What’s this? What are you talking about?

(Pam hands the diagram back to Michael, who reluctantly gives it to Dwight)



MICHAEL (Glances at camera while Dwight surveys the paper): 
I uh, came up with a fork slash chopsticks kind of thing.



DWIGHT (instantly): 
That’s a fantastic idea. (Urgently) Did you get a patent yet?

MICHAEL (scoffs): 
That’s – (turns to Pam, who is watching quietly, and turns back to Dwight, looking serious. Clears throat): That…sounds like a good idea.



Pam realizes that Michael is suspicious of her, and does a double take to the camera.

MICHAEL: 
Dwight…why don’t we go into my office, and work out this patent (looks suspiciously at Pam, and heads back to his office, tailed by Dwight)



DWIGHT: 
Have you figured out how you’re going to market it yet? Can I be in charge of marketing? 



MICHAEL: 
No, Dwight, that’s ridiculous. It’s my invention, I’m going to – (slams door)

Pam looks at the camera in amazement


Cut to inside of Michael’s office



MICHAEL (looking stressed): 
This is not good. I think Pam wants to steal my idea.

DWIGHT: 
You’re kidding.

MICHAEL (tiredly): 
No, I am not kidding, Dwight. She was acting really suspiciously.


DWIGHT (rises from chair): 
I’m on it - 



MICHAEL: 
No, no, no, Dwight. We’ve got to play it cool (glances at camera). Make her think…we don’t know what’s goin’ down.



DWIGHT (nods): 
Dinkin’ Flicka



MICHAEL: 
Stop it. You don’t even know what that means.



DWIGHT (eyes dart to camera, and back to Michael): 
Do you?


MICHAEL (pauses): 
Wh- Do you want to help me or not? We need to eliminate any competition by improving on this design.



DWIGHT: 
I thought you were getting a patent



MICHAEL: 
Yes – that – Yes, I am planning on doing that, but…I think maybe…we could add to this design first.



DWIGHT: 
Ok


Michael gets out a piece of paper and a pencil



MICHAEL: 
So…(pauses, and glances at camera) Actually, this is a closed door meeting. So, could you…just…(points at the door)



DWIGHT (gives the camera a smoldering glare): 
You heard him



A long pause, then the camera fumbles a bit and is turned off




Cut to – Pam sitting on Jim’s desk

JIM: 
No way


PAM (laughs): 
It’s true. They won’t let anyone in. (Jim turns around, noticing the blinds in Michael’s office are closed)



JIM: 
He seriously thinks you want to steal his idea? Oh, Pam, the possibilities…

PAM: 
I know! What should we do?



JIM (businesslike): 
Well, we obviously need to keep this going. You’re the artist, so you are going to make some chopstick diagrams of your own. I’ve got a Chinese food menu in my desk, and I think there are some on the bulletin board…



Pam V.O. as Jim lays out their plan



PAM: 
Working in an office can be pretty boring.

Cut to Pam TH

PAM (small laugh): 
I guess that’s obvious, though.(Pause) But when you have a mission, life becomes just a little more fun. 



Cut to shots of Jim placing menus on his desk and others, and Pam drawing at reception



Pam V.O.: 
Especially when you have a partner in crime.



Cut to inside of Michael’s Office. His desk is cluttered with paper, scissors, and other supplies. The large pad of paper from the conference room is in his office, with sketches and things like “Scott Sticks” and “Scarn Sticks” written and crossed out on it.

MICHAEL (yelling at Dwight): 
I don’t care about your stupid anime characters, Dwight.

DWIGHT: 
Well, if you want to appeal to the target audience…



MICHAEL: 
That’s enough. Just go get the glue. 



DWIGHT: 
The regular glue or the sparkly glue?



MICHAEL: 
What? Sparkly glue?



DWIGHT: 
The party planning committee has sparkly glue - 



MICHAEL (disgusted and annoyed): 
Just get the regular glue, Dwight. Bluh.


Dwight leaves Michael’s office, and heads for his desk. The phone at reception rings, and Pam picks it up. 



PAM: 
Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.



Cut to Jim on his cell phone in the back of the office, near Toby. He looks through the doors and watches Dwight and Pam.



JIM (professionally): 
Hi, this is Chris from…(struggles to come up with a patent office name) Ameri…Invention…National. I’m returning your call about the idea you had.



Pam looks at Dwight, and adopts a tone of great secrecy.



PAM (hushed, staring at Dwight): 
Ameri-Invention National?



JIM: 
Yes



PAM: 
Oh…I’m sorry…I can’t really talk about this right now.



Dwight, rummaging through his desk, is attracted to Pam’s conversation. He freezes, bent over his desk, and listens carefully. He looks at Jim’s empty desk, and notices a Chinese food menu and a slightly crumpled chopsticks diagram on his desk.



JIM: 
Oh? 



PAM (Pretends that she is trying to avoid eye contact with Dwight): 
Yeah, this isn’t a good time, but thank you for returning my call.



JIM: 
Sure, no problem. Call back when you can (he smiles)



PAM: 
Ok, I will.



Dwight begins to back slowly into Michael’s office, his eyes never leaving Pam, who has been shooting nervous looks at him. He tries to stealthily grab the chopsticks drawing and menu.



JIM: 
Bye



PAM: 
Bye


Pam hangs up the phone, and glances quickly at Dwight once more. He attempts to look emotionless as he hides the menu and diagram behind his back, steps into Michael’s office, and slams the door shut. Pam pauses, and then looks at the camera and breaks into a smile.

Cut to the inside of Michael’s office, shot through the blinds on the side. Dwight is looking earnest and worried, and Michael is rubbing his face with his hands.



MICHAEL: 
Are you sure it was a patent office?



DWIGHT: 
Michael, I am able to read people through their body language. All of the signs were pointing to treason. (Pauses) Plus, she mentioned a patent company. (Thinks)…Ameri-Invention National.



MICHAEL (gravely): 
I’ve heard of those guys. Big…big company. This is getting serious. (He picks up the crumpled diagram that Dwight found on Jim’s desk) And Jim’s in on it too?



DWIGHT: 
We can only assume that there are others as well.



MICHAEL: 
Well, here’s what we’re going to do. We gather everything we have, present it to the office, and let them know the ramifications of stealing someone else’s work. (Dramatic Pause) We need to let them know we’re serious.